Social schmedia/FB horse-shit!

[IQS.RLOW]

Bert the cabbie driver has a very close little friend cabbie driver called Ernie.
Bert says to Ernie, would you like to play puppet?
Sure Bert, how do you play puppet?
It's easy, says Bert. I can show you. I've played puppet so many times.
Here, put these rubber gloves on Ernie.

To be continued...

[Super Nova]

Ernie a little bewildered slowly slips the rubber gloves on
Bert says to Ernie, "let me just adjust myself"
"What do you mean Bert?"
"I need to get ready", says Bert
"For what?" says Ernie

To be continued...

[IQS.RLOW]

Aussie...err Bert pulls out the industrial can of Crisco, spreads his cheeks and sits down on it. He holds his nose and using a combination of breath and diaphragm control manages to inhale 2 litres of Crisco through his anus.

He stands up and says in a loud voice, Ernie, now I'm weady for you.

[Super Nova]

Ernie was shocked. He had never seen such a large orifice before.

He knew there was no satisfying Bert with his inadequate phallus.

It would be like throwing a pea down a 10 pin bowling alley.

Then all of a sudden a yellow glow surrounded Bert.

Bert looked up and he smiled as a yellow feather stuck to his freckle like the centre of a bulls eye.

and then.....

[IQS.RLOW]

Bert realised that the yellow feather wasnt stuck to his ballon knot.
It was poking out of it.
Big bird had wandered past and fallen in without Bert even feeling it.

[Super Nova]

The vortex that consumed Big Bird grew and grew like a mini black hole

The event horizon was growing out as it started to consume the inside of the taxi

Ernie began to yell for help as it felt his genitals being drawn towards Bert's mega Gräfenberg slops

He looked up in the sky, was it a bird, was it a plane, no it was....

[Super Nova]

Having their first kiss...

[IQS.RLOW]

All of a sudden, the Indian bride appeared.



Oh my golly gosh. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
I am spending my time cooking cooking up a vindaloo and now you have managed to destroy any chance of being able to hold it in.

[Super Nova]

The vortex was out of control. the tandoori cook was sucked in to the vortex slop bucket screaming with delight

It was a new world, there where swimming pool full of shit, discos and a massive monument to the precious that was so desired.

Ernie was starting to get worried.

He knew aussie (oops Bert) was an insatiable slut at the local tax gay bar with a reputation of taking on the all comers

Then along came the Chinese student for his date with bert.. maybe he could take the blame as he has before.

[Super Nova]

The vortex continued to grow. Bert was a legend in gay circles.

He was also Troughman at the Sydney Marti Gras parties. (don't know who Troughman is... google it)

Oscar dropped his flowers and jumped into his Trash And Relative Dogging In Space (TARDIS) trash can.

It was a dogging marvel and had infinite space inside where he was storing all his trash and filth aussie had created over the years from digging all over Australia from his cab.

Opening the lid all the filth started to fly into the vortex. The vortex grew. the filthy trash took streamed in a multi coloured rainbow into the vortex.

Ernie had escaped from the taxi and was standing next to the TARDIS, crying for help. His woody was now limp and this experience had turned him straight. never again would he pursue the evil filth that Bert had rubbed int him.

Suddenly... he looked up.. .was it a bird, was it a plane ... no it was....