Husband: My wife is missing. She went out roo shooting yesterday and has not come home...
Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over 170 centermeters tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my cruiser
Sergeant: What kind of cruiser was it?
Husband: (sobbing) It's a 1980 hj45 with 12ht, full custom dolbinson springs tough dog big bore foam cell shocks superior engineering extra heavy duty anti inversion shackles, 1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Coopers stt 285/75 16Tires, Custom Big ass steel roo stopping bull bar with Thomas pto winch, hid spotlights narva led light bar codan HF, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, lambs wool seat covers, twin stacks with custom 3 inch exhaust, 200ltr long range tank. Ol e lockers front and rear, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille,
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find it.
Jokes
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sprintcyclist
- Posts: 7007
- Joined: Wed May 07, 2008 11:26 pm
Jokes
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.
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DreamRyder
- Posts: 88
- Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2018 1:54 pm
- Location: Victoria
Re: Jokes
It's a very cold winter's night, so three homeless guys huddle up close to stay warm.
When they wake up in the morning, the guy on the left says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my dick."
The guy on the right says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my dick."
The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream I went skiing."
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
A guy's weaving down the road when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Hey, pal, did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"
The guy says, "Thank God. I thought I went deaf."
Three midgets meet in front of The World Headquarters for The Guinness Book of World Records.
The first midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest hands," and he goes in.
He comes out a few minutes later, and says, "I did it. I'm now in The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest hands."
The second midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest feet," and he goes in.
He comes out a few minutes later, and says, "I did it. I'm now in The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest feet."
The third midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest penis."
He comes out a few minutes later, and he's in tears.
The first midget says, "What happened?"
The third midget says, "I only got into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's second smallest penis...who the fuck is sprintcyclist?"
When they wake up in the morning, the guy on the left says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my dick."
The guy on the right says, "I had a dream somebody was pulling on my dick."
The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream I went skiing."
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit, "You ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says, "No."
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
A guy's weaving down the road when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Hey, pal, did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"
The guy says, "Thank God. I thought I went deaf."
Three midgets meet in front of The World Headquarters for The Guinness Book of World Records.
The first midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest hands," and he goes in.
He comes out a few minutes later, and says, "I did it. I'm now in The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest hands."
The second midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest feet," and he goes in.
He comes out a few minutes later, and says, "I did it. I'm now in The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest feet."
The third midget says, "I'm gonna go in and get into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's smallest penis."
He comes out a few minutes later, and he's in tears.
The first midget says, "What happened?"
The third midget says, "I only got into The Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's second smallest penis...who the fuck is sprintcyclist?"
..............⮞ Arguing with people who have lost all sense of reason is like administering medicine to the dead ⮜
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